Currently Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's By John Elder Robison see related

Lock and load

Hola people! So two days ago I got a part-time job at Subway, and I'll be working shifts six days a week from either 10am-5pm or 2pm-10pm. Sunday is my off-day. Co-workers are pretty nice, I'd say. And making sandwiches is kinda fun. :)

I'm currently prepping for my SAT on Grockit.com. It's such a WONDUHHHFULLLL site I tell you. I'll only be going to college in March as the January 4th intake is wayy too soon. Besides, I'd like to do other things. ;)

I want to learn the ways of Alan Shore from Boston Legal - his way with words and his confounding rhetoric that renders his opponents helpless, according him triumph when sealing deals. It makes me so happy.

Today from 2-4pm is the KIDS Christmas Party at church. There'll be about 700 guests; we're gonna have a lot of work to do, but it'll be fun.

Manchester United and Chelsea are gonna have a close fight for the league title.
Tuesday is my undang exam. JPJ better not be offline this time or I'll sue their pants off.


I've got to go now. Have an awesome pawsome Christmas and always remember the true meaning of it. It's not about the Christmas trees or Santa or caroling or the presents, it's about celebrating the birth and joy of Jesus Christ, extending that blessing to others and living out the love He has put inside you. Let's look forward to a fruitful, excellent, fresh, exciting, fabulous new year. There are going to be greater things ahead. God bless.

xx

P.S. I think Adam Lambert is sexayy. And I still like "No Boundaries" very, very much. Such an inspiring song.

I sure hope so.

If anyone were to ask me what I've been doing lately, I would have much to say. Perhaps I am now undergoing a time of reflection on my mistakes, regrets and successes; or perhaps, the phase I am going through now is yet another one of rediscovering myself, as constantly occurs in cycles throughout one's adolescent years. I believe it is a mingling of both, but whichever it is and however each is perceived, I am content with where I am now. Not self-sufficient or egoistic or conceited, but content in the Biblical sense. Yes, I think I have (almost) discovered the meaning of the contentment spoken about in Philippians 4v11. I have learned lessons - difficult and painful ones, to be precise - and I can say all that experience was worthwhile. I have hurt people time and time again, sometimes the very same ones whom I once apologized to. I have yet to apologize to and reconcile with some and, heck, it's a difficult and humbling process when I want to say something but words don't form themselves, or when I want to make a call and my finger is suddenly numbed, unable to press on the number.

Screwups and makeups. Such is life. I'm in the "ermm, uhh, arghh, I don't know!" mode. Oh Jojo, I sure hope so for the "should be nice enough." Haha. You know what I'm talking about. I miss you bumbum!

During the weekends, I've been assisting my mom with her group at KIDS (Kids In Divine Service) at church. It is a gathering of kids and parents in need around the community. These kids have made me realize many things, and talking and playing with them is an utmost pleasure. Taking them for the eye check and to the gift shop last Sunday gave me a new and different sort of feeling: caring. And what wonderful care it was/is! It's like, I love these kids and I want to help them practically and spiritually, guide them along, and just get to know them.

(clockwise from left) Ela, Mugilan, Kathi.

I realize that through extending my time and heart into helping and spending time with others, I find fulfillment. It takes away the "over-focus" on myself and everything revolving around myself. It makes me see things in a different light, from a different point of view, and incites me to act upon that sense of fulfillment. If I didn't know what this is, I would believe it to be magic, but it sure isn't!

Mother Teresa says, everyone is Jesus in a distressing disguise. Lately I've been doing some much-needed catching up on my reading, and I'm currently reading Mother Teresa's "Suffering Into Joy." It amazes me how she abandoned worldly status and wealth, renounced marriage and having children, and dedicated her entire life to serving people in India, living among them and lovingly ministering to the poorest of the poor - the "throw-aways' of society. Love, compassion, generosity - if there's anybody other than Jesus who best demonstrated it, I would name Mother Teresa.

The KIDS Christmas Party is next Sunday, and so I went with mom to buy balloons. I met Mr-Smiley-Who-Got-Kissed at the shop, and I decided that you should meet him, too. Say hi.

Mr-Smiley-Who-Got-Kissed says it's a pleasure to meet you. Now, would you like to buy him? He comes in a packet of 100 with duplicates of his face in various colors. He'd be very much pleased with your purchase.

P.S. Boston Legal is an excellent series. Brilliant.

xx

"Sweet dreams or beautiful nightmares!... Lameness is amusing." - Joel Tan bumbum

I'm such a drama queen. I apologize for my shallow, immature, and absolutely pathetic display outburst of emotions yesterday, to those who directly came into contact with it. So I got 1770 for my SAT, and I'm retaking it on Jan 23 for a better score (at least 1800 and above).

The K12 Anniversary Night is tomorrow, and I know Tommy desperately wants me to go. *I'm having a good perasan moment la okay* x) LOL and yeah of course I really wanna go too. The plan was to go over to his house tomorrow morning, but then my mom didn't want to trouble his mom, so I can't go. Haha. I really want to see you sing so PLEASE GET LOTS OF PHOTOS AND VIDEOS OKAY?

OH I want to say that Uncle Kevin and Aunt Lillian will be officially installed as pastors this Saturday at Mustard Seed during their evening service at 5.30pm. ALL ARE WELCOME.

Lydia is offering to help me prep for my Jan SAT. HOW ABSOLUTELY DARLING. Thank you again, Lyds!  

You know, it's amazing how physically similar my brother and Ethan are. Like omg right?

And this shot of him and Celine is CLASSIC. It's so insanely cute, I'll treasure it always. =)

There should be a petition for Isaac to switch to Maxis, because then we'd be talking almost 24/7. That Digi user. =.= Maybe I'm realizing it late, but today I found out Tommy isn't a good texter. It's wayy better talking to him on the phone.

JOEL, YOU BETTER EXPLAIN YOURSELF THE NEXT TIME YOU COME ONLINE. You know what I'm talking about. Happy with my update? Haha. Anyway, I'm going off now. Till next time!

xx

Rain down on me, here in Your presence I am free

This sucks. At the moment it looks like Jon and I aren't gonna be college mates because he might only do his SAT in May and enroll later than my January. It has such a dampening effect when he said "go to college without me." I don't know why but it just did. So anyway, if you do happen to see him in person or online, just give him a hug and a smile, all right? He's quite down about it.

Today I went for my 5 hours of undang kereta. It was conducted all in Malay by Encik Zul. He was funny, informational, efficient, and direct. Today I realized how awesome my understanding of the Malay language is. I completely understood everything - my level of understanding would have been the same had it been conducted in English. I'm glad about that. It's a good thing I think in Malay sometimes. Orang rakyat Malaysia mestilah tahu cakap Bahasa Melayu kan? Overall it was fun, except for the sitting part when after a half hour my butt bone could feel the chair and it got numb. As I mentioned before, I am capable of standing for hours but cannot bear sitting for more than thirty minutes. Haha. I met a Filipino-Chinese girl by the name of Silverlora. Isn't that such a cool name? Lol. The past few days have been long and packed, and I'm dead tired but happy.

Yesterday was awesome, literally. I attended the evening service at Mustard Seed for the first time. The worship session there is wonderfully different; there was synergy and a little (or rather, big) something that was just distinctly raised to another level and I could really, and I mean really, worship God like I haven't done in a long time. I felt IT. I like and agree with the way aunt Lillian defined and explained worship leading yesterday. She said, a worship leader ushers people into God's presence. A worship leader is a visionary who leads a group, leads prophetically, and waits on God for songs. Even though I was sleepy because I hadn't been resting enough, I felt renewed and refreshed inside. It is such an indescribably good feeling. Also, I would like to say that the Jesudasan family - uncle Kevin, aunt Lillian, Josh, Bernice and Eunice - have been such a blessing and have taught me much. After service I went for dinner with them, Pastor Nicholas, Pastor Julian, Ms Cath, my bro Jaedon, Brenda, Brandon, Weeyen, a few others and Hosanna whom I just met. Talking to them all was great.

I think Ms. Cath took like 300 over photos on Awards Night, many of which she still hasn't uploaded, I think. LOLTHESCANDALOUSONESOMGTHEMEMORIESMSCATHWEDOWHATEVERNOWTOMAKEYOUHAPPYLA. Lol hope you can decipher that.

This picture makes me laugh. We all look so... so... hahahahahhahaha. I like this. From left to right is Josh, me, Tommy, Calvin. This shot was the successful one after the first few failed because SOME PEOPLE *Tommy la who else* was being funny and kept ducking. Haha.

And this would be me, my mommy and Weeyen. I was looking in another direction because there were a few cameras. Haha.

I have so many "dates" with so many people, everybody should just come to my house. NOW THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA! Sometimes I just want that cosy homey time because frequenting malls can get tiresome, you know? And I think I've been spending a little too much. OH did I mention that I went job hunting on Thursday? Subway is offering weekend jobs. That's a good idea because I might be able to go on with it even during college next year. There were also a few others but personally I've always thought making sandwiches at Subway is cool. NO lah don't think I'm being unambitious and want to make sandwiches untuk sepanjang hayat saya lah. Hahaha. Anyway, Twilight is showing on Astro for the first time on channel 413 in 5 minutes and I'm going to watch it with my brother. Have an awesome pawsome week. I love you!

For You I will

I've everything and nothing to say. But then Joel demands an update. All I can say is wow. We've graduated. I've graduated. High school is officially over and the new phase of college is soon beginning. The "facts of graduation" still haven't fully sunk in yet; I think I'd need a couple more days to really take that in. I'm filled with a mixture of awe, sadness, joy, anticipation - the blend of these and more feelings are neither easily nor pleasantly nor badly experienced. Pretty indescribable, I'd say.

Last night was probably one of my best awards nights out of all my previous ones. I'm weird in the sense that I'm not nervous when speaking in front of large crowds, but freak out (like this morning when we grads had to say something) in front of smaller crowds of people I'm familiar with. Oh well.

AND not forgetting to mention, Tommy came last night! Ahaha. He's grown a lot taller since the last time I saw him. So lengzhai some more. Haha. I'll try to attend your anni night okay? Wanna see you sing.

Aaren really syok sendiri today. I was mopping after party day and he was typing in his number to my phone and I left it with him. Then HE texted this from MY phone to HIS phone: "Hey Aaren thx 4 being such a great person. Im glad i got to know you. Pls text me whenever you can k. Take care handsome." Betul syok sendiri, kan? Lol.

I'm really tired at the moment. I think I'm losing my voice. Hope I don't. Love you all heaps! ♥